Amazing how i chased myself into my own misery. Wish you were here.

25　年的辉煌，难道。。。
这是我们的最后三个星期，也是你的吗？
维多利亚剧院的舞台是否已经收容不下你的酸甜苦辣？
最后的演出最后的谢幕？谢了谢了。
好容易地谢绝了。

多少年的掌声，多少年的泪水，
也许就在那一晚有了了结。
心痛，除了心痛我无话可说。
让我们来唱一首华初的歌。黄城的歌？黄城的精神？黄城的人？
难道只是一场闭幕时终结的梦？

看透了。你们都说是看透了。
我却无法效仿你们的潇洒。
三月十二号，我要好好的哭一场。
哭出所有的遗憾，还有那一句无奈的谎言
－－我们明年黄城夜韵再见...

再见啦。

不渝是精神。

为什么总是要在即将失去的时候才懂得珍惜？直到现在才发现自己真的爱黄城。直到现在才知道你们的存在有那么的重要。也许我们都失望过，自责过，但是，我很庆幸我们仍然能在跌倒之后互相扶持，等泪水流干，化成笑语。大家加油，今年做一个对得起自己又快乐的黄城！一定要让黄城继续下去！做过黄城的道具，喊过黄城的cues, 我真的很想做一次黄城的观众。　（：

3 more weeks. I am so gonna miss you guys.　　

yucks. Now i cringe at my entry. Shan't blog immediately at the aftermath next time. just wanna say sorry sorry sorry. Wo shuo guo bu hui chong yan de. Shi bai le, dui bu qi. Ming tian zai jia you ba.

three things to say - thank you. sorry. wtf.

i want to die

I need things to make me happy too. Never have I felt so alone.
I am so sorry. about what? My intellectual incapacity. I DON”T KNOW. Maybe I just can’t.
Maybe I am just a useless piece of shit.

I don’t know what to say don’t know what to feel. Do I apologise? I can’t apologise when I have stuck out nights for this. I know its important. But god dammit I tried I tried I TRIED. It wasn’t enough for you. I wasn’t enough for you. What do you want from me? I don’t know how to give you what you want to see. I am lacking I know. Maybe I didn’t work hard enough, maybe I wasn’t alert enough, maybe I was just never cut out for it in the first place. Don’t know what went wrong. Maybe we were never right in the first place. Maybe I was never in the right place. Well then. Comfort me reassure me step on me. Leave me. You won’t have to see so much shit anymore then. I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry? I don’t know how to say this. (do I have to say this?)

I feel cold. No one to tell me to put my blankets on. Maybe I shan’t sleep tonight. I feel like looking out my window. Letting the wind in. Its time I felt some wind. It might dry the tears. The tears of my own naiveté. To believe in my own importance.

Mom says she’s gonna give me a birthday treat tmr. Another year, passed the same way.

Project VALENTINE

Gone are the J1 days when I was able to write ‘sweet’ little notes to everybody in my class and daoju (yes! What a feat!) for V-day. How I cringe when I think of all the disgustingly sappy things I penned down for people I knew only superficially. Haha. OH well. I have neither the time nor naivete this year to repeat the act. Haha. Which explains this…

People whom I know are gonna have a happy valentine!

MOMMY – Because daddy is so unromantic he probably won’t distract her from her lian xu ju.
DADDY - Because mommy is so distracted by her lian xu ju she probably won’t complain about his lack of romance.
GUIFENG – Because msn is one of the greatest inventions to guys who can only face the world behind a screen. (oops!)

CLIQUE
AMELIA – Because she’s going to get a new pet.
LINETTE- Because her brother’s a constant reminder of someone very dear.
WINGYEE- Because she’s so super nice she will be swamped with presents.
GERY – Billa billa… BONG! (:
ANGELA – Because she has such nice friends! (Don’t you dare deny!)
MONICA – Because Molly’s great company! xP
PHEYWA – Because she’s gonna sweep lotsa people off their feet, oh judo master.

HUANG CHENG
CHER – lan guang feng
GUANG FENG – cher
MICH – Because some daoju snrs wrote ‘cheong hengq love mich’ on zong’s round table. (I heard! xP)
JUSTIN - Because he’s going to get a new pet.
PEIHAN – Because there’s tech run the next day! (QUICK CHANGE! Haha)
XIAO XIAO – Because there’s peihan.
JIARONG – Because he is so huggable. HEH.
ZHAO RUI – Because she has a portable cushion.
ZHAO LIN – Because wang wan is back.
WANG WAN – Because zhao lin was waiting for her to be back.
SI TING – Because the fu zhuang shis will block peihan’s view.
XU SHENG – Because there’s an ahma in huang cheng.
KANG LIN – Because someone might just play the guitar to her on the ferris wheel! (TY!)
AH HONG – Jackie? Jacky? Haha. Nvm.
ZI YUN – Because qiao yan is in her ju. ): (unfair!)
CHAO HSIANG – Because got nice person offer to give him a lift home (:
YUN LIN – (darn. How come you no scandal one. No nice to niao. Lan ren! Not doing your job leh!) Because she’s nice. xP
BOONIE – piao wu. (:
REBECCA – Because ningfei is a funny person.
NINGFEI – Because Rebecca is an even funnier person.
AH MU – Because he will have his mu (and Jamie) for company.
YI YUN- Because ame will be too busy to disturb her.
WEI LONG – Because Georgia will be there to bicker with him.
GEORGIA – Because Wei Long will be there to bicker with her / Because ningfei will come to ding fan.
WEI YING – Because she’s not doing my ju.
CHAI LING – Because she’s not doing my ju.
WEI QI – Because we finally found the nurse’s uniform! Yay!
JUNYI – Because pinyun will light up his day.
PIN YUN – Because jun yi won’t fade (out) from her sight.
XIAO YE – Because he will be really bright. (dian deng pao! xP )
JAMIE – Because the sound of ah mu sawing mu is music to her ears. (heh!)
YING JIE – Because Jamie will be too engrossed to disturb her.
HUPAN – Because *sings* ‘love is a river I wanna keep flowing…’
BAO RU- dayung sampan… dayung dayung sampan….
XIAO YUAN – Because mei nv always got lots of luck on this day! (:
ZHI XUAN – Because her dah dah is on leave today. (you are free! At last!)
ZI XIAN – Because she gets to take minutes on that day! xP
HUAN WEI – Because if she stays long enough I can also give her a lift. Heh.
CHU JIE – Because even though she’s small, someone’s not going to give her a miss. (:

OLD FOLKS (xP) and others.
ZHUZHANG - Because she has nice zhu yuans like us. (there! i finally admitted it!)
JIAYI - Because she gave me her bubble tea drink and hao xin you hao bao. xP
WEEKUAN– Because he will be with his boyfriend in the army. xP
LITING – Because she has seniority. (haha xP)
KAIJIE- Because there are people in this world who are blind.
SANDRA – Because her pending sounds nice. haha
SHAWN – Because he has a nice Casanova pic. HEH.
AMANDA – Because she is nice and OLD. xP Bells ringing soon?
DARYL – Because he are going to hit the ceiling soon.
RENNY- Because I am not going to intro him anyone from hwa chong. (that’s gd k!)
KENNY – Because he will prob be singing to that special someone.
CHIN YEE – Because he’s in a nice school with lotsa pretty people.
CHIN LENG – EH. Because his serg might get lucky and not tekan him.
BING KAI – MEOW.



ARGH! Late le!! Shall continue tmr! HEH.

oh go away you slimey shadowers. life is not always an eye for an eye.

梦红楼

花谢花落飞满天，红消香断有谁怜？
或许，人生就是一场空。
我俩，到底是木石金玉，还是一个根本不应该发生的间歇？
孽海情天？只怨古今情不尽。
归于净土？却叹风月债难还。
我们欠了彼此多少泪，来生，再来生，
上演自己的红楼梦。