(:

Life can be a great big irony sometimes.
Here I am – lying immobile on the couch, fever and fatigue alternating between coughs, and I have just experienced the happiest day out of the four days of the CNY hols.

There must be some sort of magic in simplicity. Some sort of festivity you can’t find in noisy red firecrackers and hearty well wishes. The kind of festivity that dwells in the heart. Contentment? Maybe. But if everything else were to be denied to me, I wouldn’t mind just living with this little bubble of happiness. HEH. It makes me want to smile right now. haha. Unconditioned, unreasoned, ‘un-rationalised’ happiness. (:

Suddenly everything else doesn’t seem to matter. Even tech runs. Chuck feminism aside too. Its time I stopped going against half the world. HEH. I don’t know where this is going, but I only have one thing to say really.

Thanks for such an ordinary day. (:

SIAN - Y (CNY)

Its one hour and thirteen minutes into the new year.

tommorrow we would all be scurrying to each others houses, giving and receiving oranges, giving and receiving ang baos, giving and receiving smiles, giving in the hope of receiving.

my emotion reiterates red.

red like the colour of your clothes, red like your shou sui eyes (giving hours in the hope of getting more from your children next time), red like your pineapple tart heaty lips, red like the colour of your cheeks - flushed from the effort of a half hearted guffaw.

Perhaps it is too late to go back to the time when a reunion dinner doesn't give one a stomach ache.

I am angry.
angry at myself for not getting into the atmosphere of things.
Where did all that childish delight go?
the crowded streets, the festive iridescence, the smell of celebratory red, all to vaporise with the slightest waning of your concern.

RUBBISH. i can't think of a witty one-liner to end this, i feel almost mentally impaired.

(i tried)

Happy chinese new year.

All over again.

Kai gong le.
Late nights and rushed dinners all over again, just that this time work doesn't end at home.
oh well. At least it won't be a lonely walk. I don't miss the desolation- or the retarded irony of standing face to face and having hearts turned against each other. so.. jia you ba! We might be different, we might be the same, but hopefully, three months later, i will not look upon this entry with shame! (: (hey it rhymes! haha)

It hurts when you leave, even though I know you will come back.
Its still farewell, to who you are at that very instant, at that very moment your lips whisper goodbye. 为什么每一次都是一个生离死别？
Don’t ask me to remember, there’s nothing I want to remember, without you to make the memories real. Don’t ask me not to cry, it’s the only time my tears can fall freely without your hand to wipe them away. They have gotten too used to that. I have gotten too used to that. I don’t want to dream if we have to wake up. Stop it. Not all over again. I don’t want to see you, if it means having to say another goodbye.

我的拥抱　
你的依靠
连片刻的幸福　都想要

故事变了
谁能明瞭
人世间的荒唐　都浓了　难忘掉

哦 怕只怕　你睁开眼　看我
知道我　会不知所措
哦 也许你　梦醒后　我已走
错过梦　(就)不再重游
睡了吧

时间分秒
谁来主导
你和我的圆场　不做了　不想要

哦 真不想　你睁开眼 看我
知道我 也畏惧寂寞
哦 让我们在梦里快度过
Tonight 爱 不再挽留
睡过头

爱了痛了伤了别了 分手 别再重（温）
温度 冷了去了感受 不真 冻结过（来）
来的去的在的难道 都奔 世界尽头

New year gluttony.

salmon sashimi, maguro, fish roe, swordfish sashimi, cuttlefish, black chicken herbal soup, young papaya soup, shark's fin soup, crocodile soup, abalone steamed egg, fresh oyster, fresh prawn, crayfish, fresh snapper crab, seafood spaghetti, fried salted prawn, black pepper crab, scallop with garlic cream, tom yam red snapper, potato wedges, fresh abalone, pregnant fish, grilled fish, claypot abalone and mushroom, ribeye steak, chocolate chip and mint icecream, chocolate fondue (marshmallows, guava slices, cherry tomatoes with a chocolate fountain!), fresh strawberry juice, fruit punch, orange juice, peppermint tea, jasmine tea. +frozen chocolate from gelare.

This is gonna be one decadent year. (: